A Year of Shameful Subject Lines

Shameful Subject LinesLike most inboxes, mine receives a heaping helping of spam throughout the year.

Some of my personal favorites are the offers for male potency pharmaceuticals. I appreciate the discretion some of these trustworthy wholesalers use in their subject lines. That way, my wife and kids will be none the wiser. Some real examples:

  • Fw: Fw: Love Store
  • I’ll still love you, come to me, I’m in a hotel!
  • Never pay a monthly phone bill again

It seems the flim-flammers have improved their spelling, at least. I’m seeing fewer creative typos for commonly flagged words, like VI*AGR4.

For some reason, I get a lot of offers for replica watches (Best Seller Watches : Rolex Gold = 119$ , Rolex Sport = 119$!!), penny stocks (PBGC is the King’s Special Alert- Find Out Why Inside…), and online poker (Exclusive gaming with HUGE!!! payouts!).

Do people really follow those links? I want to believe that the human race is smarter than that. And yet, someone has invested the time to produce this stuff, so logically there exists a complementary group just as dimwitted but too lazy to act as the purveyor.

I wonder where these spammers get their mailing lists. Maybe they received an email with a compelling subject line, like: Max BEST Mailing Lists will make you M1LL*IONS overnight!!!

They’ve obviously mistaken me for a watch junkie who’s looking to make a fast buck and pleasure my partner despite my dysfunctional, er, equipment.

If they had quality mailing lists, I’d be getting skillfully penned emails with subject lines like:

  • Piping hot, golden french fries – printable coupon!
  • These Multi-Billion Dollar Corporations Need Copywriters … NOW
  • Grow Your Own Gourmet Coffee for Pennies – in Your Kitchen

You know, with tempting offers like those, I’d allow a typo or two.

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